
There was no joy in the baseball world yesterday when the news came down that legendary Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller passed away at 92. There have been lots of tributes to “The Heater From Van Meter,” but none may be better than one comedy duo Abbott and Costello did waaaay back in the 1930s. Their “Feller” bit playing off the word “fella” or “feller” is hilarious in a Who’s On First kind of way - below is the text, which we transcribed from a recording online. This text is hard to find, so enjoy (and enjoy the two rare photos of Abbott and Costello from our Billy Rose Theatre Collection at the Library For The Performing Arts). The skit is a bit long, but worth the read.
Costello (who is a member of the Yankees in this skit): I think we’re gonna play the Cleveland Indians.
Abbott: Cleveland Indians, ay? Feller pitching?
Costello: Certainly there’s a feller pitching. Who do you think they’d use a girl?
Abbott: I know they don’t use a girl. I said, Feller pitching?
Costello: What feller?
Abbott: Feller with the Cleveland Indians.
Costello: Look Abbott, there’s nine guys on the Cleveland team. Now which feller are you talking about?
Abbott: Feller that pitches. There is only one Feller with Cleveland.
Costello: You mean nine Yankees are going to play against one feller?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: You mean there’s no fellers in the outfield?
Abbott: No.
Costello: And There’s no fellers in the infield?
Abbott: No. Cleveland only has one Feller.
Costello: Well, this feller must be pretty good if he doesn’t need any players but himself.
Abbott: Look, all the players will be out there helping him.
Costello: You just said there was only one feller on the team.
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: Then where did all them other fellers come from?
Abbott: Oh, you idiot, when I say there’s only Feller on the team I mean there is only one Feller that pitches.
Costello: Well Abbott, when the manager of the team wants this pitcher, what does he call him?
Abbott: Feller.
Costello: You mean he just hollers, “Hey feller” and this guys knows that they mean him?
Abbott: That’s right.
Noise from Costello
Abbott: His name is Feller. Feller. Bob Feller. And when I say there is only one Feller on the team that pitches that’s it. And the feller that pitches is Feller. There’s only, the other fellers on the team, but there’s only one Feller.
Costello: Boy are you mixed up. You mean the feller that pitches is Feller and there’s other fellers on the team but they’re not Fellers?”
Abbott: Now you’re graspin’.
Costello: Yes, I grasp it, but it keeps slippin’ outta my hands!
